"Please, please, please be there," Michael chanted aloud as he drove to the potluck dinner, drumming on the steering wheel to reinforce his intent.

He had been willing it all week, hoping Cathy would telepathically get the message. When he had seen her at the group meditation last weekend, he had known without a doubt that he needed to get to know her. There was a strong attraction like he had never felt, as if some unseen force was pulling him to her, almost against his will, and certainly against his better judgment. He was well aware of the ring on her finger. They had exchanged few words, but the energy between them was so strong, he had had difficulty concentrating during the meditation. In fact, he had opened his eyes once to peek at her, and she had looked very blissful. He had managed to ask if she would meet him for coffee sometime, but she had turned him down, saying she was married and didn't do that kind of thing.

He knew that the only reason he was attending this dinner today was to see her. The people were nice, and there would be a group meditation, but that alone was not enough to draw him there. It was quite a drive, after all, over Mt. Tamalpais to Stinson Beach. He realized that her drive would be much longer, across the bay. Surely it would be worth it to her. Surely she could sense what he was sensing.

As he drove his Toyota truck on the familiar, windy road over Mt. Tamalpais through the forest, he could smell wet redwood, fir, and madrone trees. A light rain was falling, a common occurrence in early February in Marin County, and he normally enjoyed the musty smells. But now his mind was preoccupied. He had never been affected by anyone in this way before, and it was disturbing that she was married. Well, maybe he could just develop a friendship with her, there was no harm in that. It may be a good spiritual connection, and maybe that would be fulfilling enough.

But the word "soulmate" echoed in his mind over and over whenever he thought of Cathy, though he didn't dare latch onto it. Nurturing that kind of hope was too painful after wanting a soulmate for so long, and being disappointed over and over. He thought about all his efforts to call for his soulmate. After finally ending, a few years ago, a lengthy, strife-filled marriage that had been held together by a futile hope and for the kids, he had become determined to find a woman who shared his spiritual path--one who had a philosophy of life and priorities compatible with his.

His spiritual growth had blossomed since leaving the marriage, and he attended as many spiritual seminars and workshops as he could find. Almost every woman he saw at these events was a possible candidate, and he found himself wondering whether she was The One. Somehow he knew deep inside that she was coming to him, and he thought that all his problems would then be solved. He and she would love each other so much that nothing else mattered. She would accept him just the way he is, and they would live happily ever after.

That thought made him smile, and he grinned at the trees as he passed them on the road. His arms and the truck seemed to know this road so well that they worked as a unit, smoothly flowing around the winding curves like water in a creek flowing around rocks on its way downstream. He didn't need to think about it, after driving this road countless times in his seventeen years of living in Marin County, both for his construction business and for the many hikes he loved to take on the mountain. It was a magical and healing place to him, and he never tired of the woods and the expansive views of the Pacific Ocean that inspired him so.

It was to one of his special places on the mountain that he had gone on a memorable day last year, to sort out his thoughts. He called the place "God Talking Rock," for the big boulder he liked to sit on there. It was easy for him to talk out loud to God and his spirit guides there, sorting through his problems, and he always received guidance and came away with renewed perspective and direction. The place had an energy field about it that seemed to make this communication much easier and more real.

He recalled standing on the rock, gazing out at the ocean, and being filled with a powerful energy. Frustrated about not finding his soulmate, about still being alone with this deep spiritual yearning, though he had been praying about it for so long, he had suddenly reached a point of ultimatum. With a powerful intention from his soul, he spread his arms, raised his voice and proclaimed to the universe, "IF I CAN'T HAVE MY SOULMATE, I'LL LIVE ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"

Since that day, he had accepted that he may, indeed, be alone for his remaining years on the planet, and hadn't looked for his other half so intently. Giving up the active search was also easier when, shortly after his proclamation on the mountain, he asked a friend for a channeled reading. One of his questions was whether his soulmate was coming to him, and he was told that he was his own soulmate, and that becoming complete within himself, balanced between his male and female sides, was his most important task. He knew this was good advice, so he had focused more of his efforts into further self-growth, and was at peace with it--until Cathy came along.

He thought about the way he had met Cathy at the seminar. He had noticed her immediately, with her long red hair and spirited green eyes. She was standing in line, and caught his eye. He had held her in his gaze for a long moment. Although she was attractive, there was something else about her that kept his attention. Since then, he had mulled it over and over in his mind, and still that "something else" was intangible, indefinable. When he saw the ring on her finger, he had felt a surge of disappointment and looked away. They had a brief conversation later, during a break in the seminar, and he enjoyed talking with her about their spiritual paths.

It was months later, at another seminar, when they had connected again. They had hugged at the end, and the words, "I love you," had flowed out of his mouth before he could stop them. Goosebumps had covered his skin and he was shocked, not only by saying such a thing, but at how deeply he had felt it. Her energy seemed to reach deep into the very essence of his core being as if they had always been together, and it was a simple statement of Truth. He had hoped she wouldn't be as shocked as he was, and to cover his embarrassment, he played it cool afterward. When she gave him her phone number, he hadn't really known what to think. And what was it she had said? That they had been together before!

Though he had thought about her intensely after the seminar, and wanted to call, he had held back because she was married. Plus, he didn't think he had finished healing from his previous relationships. His last marriage had caused him tremendous pain. Besides, he didn't really understand what he was feeling. He had almost convinced himself that their connection was all in his imagination.

But three months later, just last November, as he was walking along the sidewalk to his apartment, he had a "knowing" that said, "My soulmate is coming now!" It was very strong, almost urgent, and deeply affected him. He knew from experience that these intuitive hits were always important. Still, within a couple of days he had dismissed it, because he had truly accepted that he may not meet her in this lifetime, and couldn't allow himself to get his hopes up.

His spiritual guidance had been determined, however. He could see that now. Just two weeks after that knowing, as he walked along the exact same stretch of walkway, came The Voice. He heard a distinct booming voice say, "Call Cathy!" He had looked around instinctively, but there was no one there; The Voice was clearly a command from his Higher Guidance and coming from inside his head. "Call Cathy!" It had gotten his attention. Never before had he heard a voice like that, so he wasn't about to ignore it. Still, another two weeks had passed before he finally called, just after the new year. . . .

He was closing in on the destination, so he paid attention to the slip of paper that had the written directions on it. The house was easy to find. He parked and went in. It was a beautiful, yet slightly funky, house on the hill overlooking Stinson Beach, full of light and sea breezes, and brightened by many indoor plants. The living room had been set up for the group, with chairs and cushions arranged in a circle for the meditation. He had brought his favorite leek and potato soup and heated it up on the stove in the small kitchen.

The company was stimulating, and he talked to several people, many of whom were on a spiritual path like his own. Normally, he loved to discuss matters of the spirit with like-minded people, but today he found himself glancing toward the door each time it opened, to see who was arriving. Last weekend after the meditation, when they had all been invited to this potluck, Cathy had said she may come, but he had also heard her ask if spouses were invited. The answer from the host had been yes, if they can sit through the meditation. He really hoped she would come alone. He simply must talk to the one who had been on his mind all week.

"Anyone sitting here?"

Michael was abruptly brought back to the present, and smiled at a man he recognized from other gatherings. "No, not yet," he answered.

The room was starting to fill as everyone finished eating and found their places for the meditation. He realized that she probably wasn't coming, and settled into a casual conversation with the man next to him. That was when she walked through the door. Alone. Their eyes met briefly across the room, and his followed her as she went into the kitchen to greet the host. She was just as he had been seeing her in his mind's eye all week, including that glow, the vitality of life that sparkled about her. He looked around and noticed with glee that the only empty chair was next to him--he willed that no one would take it before she came back in. She got some food and walked over to sit next to him.

"Don't you work?" Cathy asked in a hushed tone, without so much as a hello. She sat down.

"What?"

"I mean, were you thinking about me all week, or what? I have to work even if you don't!" She didn't know what else to say, and genuinely wondered how anyone could be so telepathically tuned in to her.

He was rather taken aback, but also intrigued. He answered, "Well, I didn't have much work this week, as a matter of fact. And yes, I have been thinking about you. How did you know?"

"I know."

He felt goosebumps on his back and arms. "Can we talk alone after this is over--maybe take a walk or something?" He tried not to sound like he was pleading, but the need to talk was overwhelming him.

She sighed, knowing that it would be against her marriage ethics to take a walk alone with this man, but the words were out before she could censor them. "All right."

He relaxed, and they said no more as the group meditation started. He found it difficult to concentrate, because he was planning out where they would go, and all he wanted to say to her.

She was wondering how she could possibly make this OK to herself and husband, but at the same time knew she couldn't say no. The pull was too strong, and she had to find out why.

They left shortly after the meditation, saying good byes to their friends separately. Once outside, he suggested they each drive and meet down at the beach. She agreed, even though it was raining fairly steadily now and she remembered that she had no rain clothes with her. She followed his truck down the curvy road and parked in the empty parking lot.

They got out of their cars and walked silently toward the water through the thick sand. The beach was windy and cool. He tentatively put his arm around her shoulders and, though there was a tiny voice inside that resisted, she didn't pull away. It felt so perfectly natural, and she had stopped being surprised anymore as she accepted the situation and her own reactions.

"Well, what is going on here? You know I am married," she began.

"Yes, I know. And I don't know what's going on any more than you do."

"It's not OK with me to be alone with you," she declared.

He nodded in acknowledgment, but said nothing, and they continued to walk.

"I've been thinking about you all week," she continued, "and it is interfering with my work. I can't seem to concentrate. I'm a scientist, you know, and my work is highly mental. We have to do something about this."

"I've been having trouble concentrating also. We obviously have a really strong connection; maybe we can be spiritual partners in the inner planes. Maybe we can be just friends."

He said it, but couldn't really imagine that scenario. There was such a yearning he was feeling for her. He tried to analyze it--was this a sexual attraction? Was it just lust? After all, he had been alone for several years. No, this was a love so deep that it was his soul that was doing the yearning, not his loins. His heart was joyous just being next to her.

"I kinda feel like this is more of a man-woman thing, not just a friendship," she observed glumly. "I WANT to feel you mostly here," she put her hand on her heart, "rather than HERE." She pointed to her abdomen, where she could feel the Golden Cord in high activation. She was feeling most of this pull between them along the cord between their navels, even though she knew that the connection was at many levels.

He was surprised at her boldness and pondered what she had said for a few minutes, not really understanding it but not wanting to ask any more about it. It was comfortable being together even in silence, though there was a tension, an attraction that was hard to ignore. Dodging the occasional surges, they meandered slowly along the shore in the wet sand just above the waves. The rain was light but steady, the wind blowing it strongly against them. They made some small talk about the beach and surroundings. Michael had an umbrella and tried to hold it in front of Cathy in the driving rain. Appreciating the gesture, she said she would rather see where she was going than be dry. The wild weather suited her on what seemed like a wild adventure, and she had always loved rain.

Cathy stopped to take her shoes off, saying that she wanted to feel the sand directly on her bare feet, an act that amazed Michael because of the icy temperature of the sand. Already accepting the fact that they might somehow get together--that she was his soulmate--he suddenly wondered if she was too much younger than he.

As she removed her socks and tucked them into her running shoes, he casually asked, "So what is your astrological sign? When is your birthday?"

She told him the date, including the year. "Lots of energy in Gemini. And yours?"

"Cancer-Leo cusp, in July."

She noted that he didn't tell her the year he was born, and surmised that he must be sensitive about his age. It doesn't matter, because we are just friends, she told herself firmly, and besides, he couldn't be older than my husband. Mike was eleven years her senior and it was not a problem because his body was in good shape. She assessed the shape of Michael's body, remembering that he was a soccer coach, and saw that he, too, was fit--then she realized what she was doing and dismissed the train of thought as irrelevant.

After they had walked about half a mile, Michael suggested they head back. They turned toward each other for just a moment and before either of them knew what was happening, they were locked in an embrace, as if the wind had suddenly swept in from both sides and pushed them together.

Immediately, all their chakras started activating, spinning wildly as they interacted in feedback loops, resonating into a swirl of energy. They were lifted up by this surge of power, up into the cosmos, where they soared together among the stars, far above the planet, flowing with the cosmic currents. Their spirits were finally free. Flying together in joyful bliss, they knew without a doubt that they were perfect companions in spirit. Instantly they knew that, after a very, very, long journey, they were two souls who had finally come home. They felt like they had finally found that part of themselves that they had long missed, and they were filled with bliss, forgetting all else.

The universe seemed to celebrate with them, as angels and countless other Beings of Light surrounded them with song and beautiful displays of color. It all happened in a moment, yet the moment was timeless. The Golden Cord between them was taken to an even higher level of activation, as if it had been waiting for this moment for an eternity, sealing their energy together--and right then nothing in the outside world mattered as long as they were together.

When they settled back into their bodies, neither could say anything but "Wow." When they looked into each other's eyes, they could see that it was a mutual experience.

Cathy came to her senses and gently pulled away, and they slowly started walking back. What just happened? She wondered silently. Is that what it is like to hug your soulmate? I can only call it Heaven.

"That was like heaven." He tentatively whispered.

"Yes, pretty amazing. I was just thinking that very word." Their telepathic connection was growing even stronger.

The wind was at their backs now, and the rain had relaxed into a light sprinkle, so it was easier going. They walked in silence for a few minutes, both thinking about soulmates and knowing now, after that hug, that they had never been with one before. It was not something either of them wanted to talk about yet, however, and they didn't have words for it even if they did want to, so they discussed other spiritual experiences they had each had, finding commonalties.

They found that they shared the idea that when human beings spiritually evolve so they are no longer personality-based but live their lives centered in the soul instead, it became appropriate to change their name to more accurately reflect their true essence. Michael revealed that he had already been given his spiritual name during meditation.

"Tell me how you got it," she urged.

"I sat in meditation and opened my crown chakra, slowly bringing in golden and white Light until my body was completely filled, and it started radiating outward, filling my Light body. Then I simply asked for my spiritual name. The Light immediately changed to a deep emerald green color, and I heard 'OMARAN' loudly spoken, clear and strong. It was an amazing experience."

"That is a great name! Why don't you use it?" She was impressed.

"I guess I'm not ready for that. I've lived and done business in this county for almost twenty years, and everyone knows me as Michael. Do you think I should?"

"I think I'd like to call you Omaran from now on. It suits you, and it brings out your highest and best qualities."

"OK, I'd like that. What about you? Do you have a spiritual name yet?"

"No, I have never even asked for it, though I've always disliked my given name. 'Cathy' never did suit me, even as a child, and I cringe inside slightly every time people call me that. I've been wanting to change it all my life but never settled on the right name."

"Didn't you say that you can communicate with your spirit guides? Maybe it is time to ask them."

"Yes, maybe it is time. Out of respect, I don't ask them anything unless I consider it to be important, and worth their time and effort."

She said it like channeling was a common ability, but Michael knew of few people who had that talent. He was very interested in this, because he had once taken a channeling workshop and was successful during the class, but he hadn't stuck with it and now felt he had some blocked energy around it. Though he talked to his guides often, and felt their presence, he didn't get answers back directly. He wanted to know more.

"How did you learn how to channel, anyway?"

She described how she had always felt close to her spirit guides since her first real contact at a very young age, and had communicated with them intuitively until she was in her early thirties. Then one day it just occurred to her to let them talk through her aloud. She had gotten books on channeling and researched the process, and started practicing, little by little getting the connection stronger until she could get out of the way enough so they could speak, while she remained fully present and acted like a translator. Then she practiced whenever she could, getting advice from them for herself mainly, and once in a while doing a reading for others.

"Most of the time I just communicate with them telepathically, without verbal channeling. They call themselves the Council of Seven. They are so loving, compassionate, and wonderful--it is my own personal support group. Their primary purpose is to help me grow and evolve in this lifetime, and I've learned so much from them."

"And have you asked them about us?" He immediately wished he hadn't blurted that out so soon, but there it was.

She had been hesitant about asking her guides about him in much detail, because she was a bit afraid of what they might say. She answered, "I only asked whether it was in the highest good to see you, and the answer was affirmative, which is the reason I am here now."

In the highest good to see me! He thought. This was encouraging, and validating. He said, "It must be nice to have that connection . . . to have a two-way conversation with wise beings who can see so much more than we humans can. Do they look like angels to you?"

"Yes, sometimes I call them angels, or spirit guides. I really appreciate them--they are my best friends."

"Do they tell you what to do, or give you warnings? Do they protect you?" Omaran really wondered what it was like to have living contact with the "other side."

She smiled. "No, they never tell me what to do. Beings of the Light don't do that. If people have guides telling them what to do or trying to control them in some way, those are not beings of the Light, and don't have the higher purpose of the person in mind. My guides certainly give advice, but usually only when I ask for it, and even then, they never interfere with my learning process or decisions. They are not allowed to interfere in any way."

"What about telling you the future? Do they do that?"

"Very rarely. I've asked about some things, of course . . . who wouldn't? And they patiently told me that they are not fortunetellers, because giving that kind of knowledge might influence the outcome of situations, and doesn't help the person evolve spiritually. They do, on occasion, bring my attention to something I may not have noticed, or let me know about things that might happen, that kind of thing. But if I have a decision to make, for example, they don't tell me how to make it, but instead they guide me through a process to help me see which choice has the most Light, or something like that. They have guided me through many things this way, taught me basic lessons in spirituality, and given me many tools and much knowledge. I guess it is similar to having a guru, like in the Hindu tradition, but in spirit, rather than in body."

"That is really fascinating. I wish I could communicate with mine like that." He really envied this skill.

"I believe that everyone gets what they need, when they need it, so if you needed that you would have it, or be drawn to spend time developing it." She looked at him meaningfully. "You know, I've never talked to anyone about this so much, except with my sisters, of course--I've always kept it fairly private."

They were arriving back at the parking lot, and Michael asked if he could call her.

"No, I don't think that is a good idea."

"Well, then, will you be going to the group meditation next weekend?"

"Maybe, I'll have to see. I need time to think. I'll call you if I am going."

She started to edge away, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He took out a business card with his phone number on it and stepped close to give it to her. Just before they parted, he impulsively and quickly kissed her on the lips, two light pecks.

Startled, Cathy's knees weakened, almost buckling beneath her. She blushed, and recovered her balance quickly, turning toward her car. She fumbled with the key but managed to get in and then proceeded to turn the wrong way in the large parking lot, right into a dead end. Flustered, she turned around and followed his waiting truck out to the road, knowing that he must have found that very amusing. She was right.

Copyright Antera 2003, all rights reserved. Written permission required to duplicate or quote.
Song lyrics copyright Antera & Omaran, from the album "Twin Flames."